2 Great Stories From Involving My Sister In Law My Nephews (mild language warning but absolutely innocent)

From my sister in law, Kara, in TX:

On Fridays we go to the chiropractor first thing in the morning and afterwards we go to Chick-fil-A for breakfast. Well, today when I went into the bathroom, I met a VERY tall lady in there. She liked the complimentary lotion so much that she was putting it all over her. As we got to talking, she offered me some of the lotion and said “it isn’t mine, it was in here”. So, I told her that my husband (who is the Operator and my brother, Philip Browne. rb) put it in here for people to use. When she heard that she told me she was from College Park, Georgia. Well, of course I had to let her meet Phil. So, I took her over to meet Phil and just before I did, she motioned to her husband to come over too. Her husband turned out to be a VERY nice midget! Now, not only was he a midget, but he was wearing a very colorful shirt, a Jamaican hat and had the biggest go-tee I have ever seen! We had a wonderful conversation with them and then they headed out. Just as they left Peyton (6 years old) came over to Philip and whispered in his ear, “Daddy, is he from the Chronicles of Narnia?” All we have to say is that we are SO happy that he waited until they left to ask that. Boy, has he ever come a long way!!

Also (this one is even better):

Today, during school I was reading to Wesley and Peyton from The Aesop for Children. I was reading about a donkey that had become VERY proud. In the book they called the donkey an ass. Well, for the first time ever I went ahead and read the story word for word. About half way through the story a man in the story says “Stupid ass! You have become too proud” and of course I am reading it word for word. Just as I say that Wesley stops me and says, “Mom, he really should have just said dumb ass (because we don’t say bad words)”. Then he waited for me to repeat the sentence correctly. And I obediently did!

Classic! Oh the heart of pure young boys.

Larry Legend and Magic Johnson

Possibly the only commercial in the history of television that has literally given me chill bumps and watered my eyes.

Long live Larry Legend!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AlN_tz44yM

Mystery Revealed for Men! 9 Words That Women Use and What They Really Mean!!

From my friend Wade...who knows all there is to know about women (but don't tell his wife Jennifer that!)

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' ... that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying "Forget You!"

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later re sult in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.